I can't talk about Kendrick Perkins. I've tried several times to write something about him, but words continually fall short. There's literally too much emotion. They say that you should never put anything in writing after a tough breakup. Apparently you should never put anything in writing after your favorite sports team trades a player you genuinely like, either.
In many ways, this feels like a breakup. I find myself glowering at everyone around me who seems cheerful (the bastards), wondering how they can go about their daily lives when the entire world has changed. The Celtics are no longer the same, and they never will be again. The starting five that had never lost a playoff series together ends its run unbeaten, but incomplete. Kendrick Perkins has been traded.
Perk was a scowling hustler who busted his ass every night. Perk was a warrior. Perk was a champion. But more importantly, Perk was OUR warrior, OUR champion. Celtic fans embraced and adored Perkins' intensity, commitment to defense, and acceptance of his role. Sports fans admire talent and athletic ability, but none of us will ever leap like Blake Griffin or move like Derrick Rose. To truly acquire a fan's LOVE, you need more. You need to be relatable, in some way. You need to work hard, you need to be tough, and you need to be loyal, because we as fans feel that if we were in the same situation, we would be all of those things. Perkins wasn't athletic. He didn't defy gravity. He wasn't fast. But he was as relatable as they come. Not only that, but he played in Boston, a group of blue collar fans who adore hard work more than Hollywood. Perk represented everything we value and love in an athlete.
Look, I understand (sort of) the rationale behind the trade. Green is a young, athletic scorer who fills a couple of gaping holes in the Celtics' roster, coming off the bench at the 3 and 4. Oklahoma City LOVED Jeff Green. They thought he was a great teammate and were very sad to see him go. We wouldn't necessarily be able to afford Perk again next season, and we were uncertain of his knees. So maybe Danny Ainge was thinking attempting to cash in what he could from Perkins now. But what concerns me most about the trade is an intangible. See, not only did Celtic fans embrace Perk, but his teammates did too. They are crushed by his departure, despite the fact that, on paper, he was nothing more than a very good role player. But, as hundreds of writers have pointed out, basketball isn't played on paper. Like almost every great team, the Celtics worked because they clicked as a unit. Without key members of that unit, the machine doesn't perform as well, and eventually it will grind to a halt.
I'll be honest. Today? I don't care about athleticism, roster holes, contracts, or knees. I want Perk back. I think most of Celtic's nation would agree with me. In fact, today and today only, I'd go as far as to say I'd rather lose the title with Perk than win without him. Give me some time, I'll change my mind. But I've given it some thought and I think this is why.
I think the reason sports matter is the same reason books and movies matter. These mediums give us a place where we can escape ourselves for a certain time. There are mediocre books and movies (players and teams) that we read (cheer for) but ultimately forget. But there are also great ones that take us beyond ourselves, prompting emotions seemingly incongruent with our current situations. If you say you've never felt choked up at the end of a great movie, I'll honestly pity you. And we feel that way because we relate to the characters. We feel as though our lives are their lives. Similarly, I know for a fact I wasn't the only Celtic's fan who shed tears hearing about Perkins weeping openly as he packed his bags after learning about the trade.
It feels especially wrong when we are brought back to earth by the fact that sports is a business. Like any business, there is a human element. But ultimately, winning is money. It's possible Boston has a better chance of winning with Jeff Green instead of Perk, which means more money. And money runs the world, not wonderful stories with wonderful characters like this Celtics team and Kendrick Perkins.
No good book or movie ends before the ending. Sure, some do, and they are considered "artsy" or some similar crap. But you can't tell me you walk away feeling fulfilled. Fans of the Celtics after 2008 were given the highest of all highs in sports, a lovable team of players who truly deserved their accomplishments achieving the ultimate goal, treating us to the spectacle of them celebrating and crying, while we celebrated and cried with them. We cried after the 2010 Finals for an entirely different reason, while the love we felt for this team swelled. 2010 was a sad ending, sure. Unsatisfying? Absolutely. But at least it was completed. There was a plot, a climax, and ultimately a page that said "THE END."
This season now feels like an unfinished book, with no chances of a sequel to tie up the loose ends. Perk is gone, we can't do anything about it, and we will never know how the 2011 season SHOULD have ended.
The business of sports fucks us again.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Hall of Fame(Ish)
I posted this originally on a blog for my sportswriting class. You can read that here, and I highly recommend you do, there are some very entertaining pieces.
The Basketball Hall of Fame is fucking worthless.
The Basketball Hall of Fame is fucking worthless.
Let's play a little game I like to call "Identify This Hall of Famer!" Ready? See if you recognize these names. Hortencia Marcari? Drazen Dalipagic? George Yardley? How about Joe Fulks? No? None of them? Me neither. Know why? NONE OF THEM ARE FAMOUS. And yet they all currently reside in the players section of the Basketball Hall of Fame, in Springfield Massachusetts.
Take a look at how brainless that last paragraph was. Hortencia Marcari was a renowned Brazilian women's basketball player (no, she never played professionally in the states, but hey buddy, she was a LEGEND in Brazilian women's ball, you watch yourself.) Drazen Dalipagic was, I'm quoting here from his Hall of Fame info page, "one of the most decorated players in Yugoslavian history." From the same page, "Dalipagic...didn't start playing basketball until the age of 19." (Hey, do you live at home with your parents at the age of 19? Are you going nowhere with your life? Move to Yugoslavia, and you too can be a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame!) George Yardley was described, creatively enough, as a "scoring machine" by teammates, so if nothing else, he pioneered one of the most over-used basketball terms in history. Go George! But according to his numbers, he was nothing of the sort. He averaged roughly 19 points per game. Never fear, Elton Brand! Your career averages might still be enough to enshrine you! Yardley's teams never won a championship, not even in the watered down leagues of the 1950s, when there were only 11 teams even competing. Joe Fulks, I've never heard of. I know nothing about him. I have no idea what he looks like. As a matter of fact, neither does the Hall of Fame. Don't believe me? Go look at his page. His face appears to be drawn on, which means he could have been the ugliest bastard in human history, but he will be forever enshrined as a baby faced individual, staring upwards in a gaze of wonder. None of these players were famous. All of them are in the Hall of Fame.
All of which brings me to my point: if you are going to enshrine Drazen Dalipagic, WHY WOULD YOU NOT ENSHRINE REGGIE MILLER?
Reggie Miller was eligible this year for induction. And the voters, in their infinite wisdom, didn't even include him on the ballot.
This is wrong on so many levels. For starters, he played in the fucking NBA. You know, the group of the most accomplished basketball players in the world. But i digress. His resume included 15 playoff berths and an 18 year career with the same team, as the alpha dog best player. He was, at the time, an unprecedented 3 point shooter, and a crunch time killer, the kind of player you dreaded playing against in a tight game. His legendary playoff battles with the New York Knicks were so full of drama and great story lines that ESPN made a documentary called "Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs the New York Knicks" (top that, George Yardley!). ESPN's Indiana Pacer-related blog is named Eight Points, Nine Seconds after one of Miller's most dazzling playoff performances, when Reggie absolutely detonated on the Knicks, scoring (you guessed it) 8 points in 9 seconds to win. He also had a famous performance in which he and legendary Knicks fan Spike Lee had an on-court verbal battle, yelling at each other throughout the game, finally culminating in Reggie draining a back breaking three pointer, staring straight at Lee, and putting his hands to his throat in the universal sign for "choke".
Miller was famous. He was talented. And he was incredibly memorable. New York City, widely considered the greatest basketball city in the country, will forever hate him. Indiana, widely considered the greatest basketball state in the country, will forever revere him. And any rational basketball fan would agree that Miller deserves a spot in Springfield more than the names I mentioned before, unless you are either a Brazilian woman or a lazy Yugoslavian teenager. I'd include fans of the NBA back in 1950's, but if you were around back then, I think you would have been too offended by the first sentence in this post to make it all the way to end.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Blake Superior
I recently witnessed Blake Griffin for my first time, and afterward I was feeling mildly heretical.
You see, I watched the Clippers play the Timberwolves, and I went in expecting to witness inhuman acts I had never seen before. I expected to see things that would make Clark Kent whip off his glasses, polish them on his hidden cape, and mash them back onto his face in disbelief. Having watched the majority of his games on League Pass, I had heard all the comparisons, a combination of Malone, Kemp and Barkley, and I expected to see Griffin coming off a screen and roll like Malone, leaping 40 feet in the air for the slam like Kemp, then eating a dozen hot wings on the way down like Sir Charles.
I was sincerely let down afterward. Blake was clearly a young player. He seemed much too interested in dunks. On too many possessions, he pointed to the rim, asking for an alley oop. On offense, he seemed disinterested in running around setting screens, doing the things that post players do. His defense seemed suspect. He complained to the refs. A lot. When players do this, I get ulcers.
But the more I thought about the actual game, the more I was impressed. Griffin demanded the team's best defender at all times while he was on the court. Not just any defender, but a post defender, usually 7'2 Darko Milicic, a big guy who is supposed to be tying up the lane from wing slashers. Griffin made him stretch his defense out to the perimeter, something Darko is not quick enough to do. Griffin punished him by downing jumper after jumper, shooting a very solid 12-20 from the field. Admittedly, 4 of those shots were thunderous dunks, a very high percentage shot for Griffin. But he proved clearly that defenders should respect his jumpers as much as his post game. Griffin also demonstrated excellent court awareness for a big man, not trying to do too much when he had the ball, consistently making the right pass. He wound up with 5 assists and 8 rebounds to match his 29 points.
And yet, statistics weren't what sold me on him. What sold me was the fact that he packed a stadium in Minnesota that is often pathetically underattended. And the fact that Griffin, even though he was clearly uninspired in this game, STILL managed to drop 29 points. The Clippers had been on a two week road trip. Griffin hadn't seen his home in 14 days. He was performing in three different events in the upcoming all star weekend, and the Clippers last game before his busy weekend was against the Timberwolves, currently sporting a record of 13-43. Can we blame him for being uninspired? In an 82 game season, one in which the Clippers are clearly not a playoff contending team battling for a position, is Griffin expected to go as hard as he can every single night?
Well, yes. He is. But at least against Minnesota, it was somewhat understandable if he didn't.
The Clippers are a good young team, whose record is not indicative of their talent level. They clearly enjoy playing together. They will be getting lots of national TV coverage next year, thanks almost entirely to the Blake Show. Griffin's acrobatics and showmanship are at incredibly high levels, as is his poise and fitness at such a young age, few rookies are anything close to as built as he is. But far more importantly, his talent level is professional ready. Somehow, coming into his rookie season, he has a complete NBA game.
This raises the logical question: where the hell does he go from here? A consistent 3 point shot? Jumping through a fiery circle for dunks like the Phoenix gorilla mascot? His work ethic won't allow him to stay put, which means (gulp) he's going to be BETTER year after year. As insane as it is to think about, this is just the beginning.
Clark Kent, you've been warned.
You see, I watched the Clippers play the Timberwolves, and I went in expecting to witness inhuman acts I had never seen before. I expected to see things that would make Clark Kent whip off his glasses, polish them on his hidden cape, and mash them back onto his face in disbelief. Having watched the majority of his games on League Pass, I had heard all the comparisons, a combination of Malone, Kemp and Barkley, and I expected to see Griffin coming off a screen and roll like Malone, leaping 40 feet in the air for the slam like Kemp, then eating a dozen hot wings on the way down like Sir Charles.
I was sincerely let down afterward. Blake was clearly a young player. He seemed much too interested in dunks. On too many possessions, he pointed to the rim, asking for an alley oop. On offense, he seemed disinterested in running around setting screens, doing the things that post players do. His defense seemed suspect. He complained to the refs. A lot. When players do this, I get ulcers.
But the more I thought about the actual game, the more I was impressed. Griffin demanded the team's best defender at all times while he was on the court. Not just any defender, but a post defender, usually 7'2 Darko Milicic, a big guy who is supposed to be tying up the lane from wing slashers. Griffin made him stretch his defense out to the perimeter, something Darko is not quick enough to do. Griffin punished him by downing jumper after jumper, shooting a very solid 12-20 from the field. Admittedly, 4 of those shots were thunderous dunks, a very high percentage shot for Griffin. But he proved clearly that defenders should respect his jumpers as much as his post game. Griffin also demonstrated excellent court awareness for a big man, not trying to do too much when he had the ball, consistently making the right pass. He wound up with 5 assists and 8 rebounds to match his 29 points.
And yet, statistics weren't what sold me on him. What sold me was the fact that he packed a stadium in Minnesota that is often pathetically underattended. And the fact that Griffin, even though he was clearly uninspired in this game, STILL managed to drop 29 points. The Clippers had been on a two week road trip. Griffin hadn't seen his home in 14 days. He was performing in three different events in the upcoming all star weekend, and the Clippers last game before his busy weekend was against the Timberwolves, currently sporting a record of 13-43. Can we blame him for being uninspired? In an 82 game season, one in which the Clippers are clearly not a playoff contending team battling for a position, is Griffin expected to go as hard as he can every single night?
Well, yes. He is. But at least against Minnesota, it was somewhat understandable if he didn't.
The Clippers are a good young team, whose record is not indicative of their talent level. They clearly enjoy playing together. They will be getting lots of national TV coverage next year, thanks almost entirely to the Blake Show. Griffin's acrobatics and showmanship are at incredibly high levels, as is his poise and fitness at such a young age, few rookies are anything close to as built as he is. But far more importantly, his talent level is professional ready. Somehow, coming into his rookie season, he has a complete NBA game.
This raises the logical question: where the hell does he go from here? A consistent 3 point shot? Jumping through a fiery circle for dunks like the Phoenix gorilla mascot? His work ethic won't allow him to stay put, which means (gulp) he's going to be BETTER year after year. As insane as it is to think about, this is just the beginning.
Clark Kent, you've been warned.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
An Open Letter to Dwight Howard
Dear Mr Dwight Howard
My opinion probably doesn't mean much to you. I am, after all, just a young man with a computer. You are a young man with impossibly built shoulders. You signed a contract in 2007 worth $80 million. I've earned about $13,000 frying chicken and slicing meat in a deli. You bench press 315 pounds for reps. I'm proud of my 20 pound arm raises. I tower over my coworkers, at 6'3. You tower over considerably taller coworkers at 7'0. An entire city is currently relying on you to lead their basketball team. I'm mostly relied upon by my dog, who needs me to let her out to take a dump in the yard after eating breakfast.
But I feel like I could advise you on this. You see, I can't imagine you have a whole lot of time in your busy schedule to take a look at the teams you will be considering in your upcoming free agency. I mean, look at you. Most of your free time appears to either be spent in the weight room, or in places of less reputable muscle-building nature. But I'm in denial about the possibility of steroid use in basketball, so let's move past that.
When you aren't pumping your body full of muscle, you are making shoe ads for Adidas, reminding us that Fast Don't Lie. How can someone like you be expected to watch other teams perform throughout the year?
Which is why I'm here for you, with a warning. See, I don't have a life. I watch more basketball than is probably healthy for me. I think about it too much, too. I analyze, I write, I read, I nerd out. You are the subject, I am the student. And in my studies, I've learned that one of your possible destinations is the Los Angeles Lakers.
I can understand the attraction. Look at the big man who ruled Orlando before you. Shaq bolted from Orlando to LA to play with Kobe and ended up with these. Plus, it's Hollywood. Right now, in Orlando, your most famous fan is a disgraced golfer who ruined his wife's thanksgiving right before she ruined his SUV with a golf club. In Hollywood, your most famous fans would be...well, let's see...Jack Nicholson and Denzel Washington? No biggie.
But let me tell you, Dwight. I've watched the Lakers. I've watched you. And I have to say...I think the Lakers are a baaaad fit for you.
A starting lineup featuring you, Kobe Bryant, and Pau Gasol sounds amazing on paper. And two years ago, this is roughly what the relationship between Pau Gasol and Kobe Bryant looked like. Aww. They look so happy together. This absolutely looks like the kind of place you would want to be. But now? This is more of what we are seeing in Laker-land. Multiple times this year, Gasol has questioned Kobe's decision making, saying publicly that he needs more touches, and Kobe needs to stop taking so many long jumpshots. Kobe has responded...well...by taking more long jumpshots. Come playoff time, this team very well might turn it around. As a matter of fact, I think they will. But is it worth being miserable for 82 games in the regular season to play the second or third banana on a contending team? You are better than that, Dwight.
Watch a Laker game sometime. Count how many times you actually see Gasol crack a smile. It's extremely rare (although if you are lucky, you might get a sweet shot of his armpits). And Dwight, smiling is what you do! That's one of the things that makes you so refreshing as a basketball player, you seem incredibly self aware. You KNOW you are built like freaking Zeus. You KNOW your girlfriend is so hot, she could be the reason the ice caps are melting (all the more reason to stay out of LA...keep her away from Kobe!). You KNOW you are set for life on the salary you will make this year alone. You KNOW if you keep this up, you are likely headed for the Hall of Fame. You have it good...so you smile! It's wonderful. And Kobe will beat that out of you with a crowbar.
Here's another thing about LA: their point guard situation is a little bit desperate. Derek Fisher was a mediocre point guard in his prime. Dwight, the man is 35 years old. He is no spring chicken in NBA years. You need a team with a flashy young point guard, someone who can run the floor with you and toss you alleyoops for 48 minutes, while the crowd exults. You need someone willing to be the second banana, the Ringo to your McCartney, the Tubbs to your Crockett, the Gore to your Clinton. You need someone who wants to shine in your show, while still realizing it's your show.
You need Chris Paul.
Yes. You need to go where Chris Paul goes. You will both be free agents at the same time. You are both friendly, and have been for years. You are both young and hyperathletic. Chris has the best court sense of any player in the league. But you and Paul present the best chance of deep playoff runs in addition to boosting your own legacy. It's a good fit for him too...he needs a big post player to rack up his assist totals to a level he deserves, which he isn't getting in New Orleans. Add any halfway decent perimeter player, and believe me, they will be flocking to play with Chris Paul, and just like that you have a contender. Boom. It's a perfect match. It just works.
There is one other place that might work well for you. Boston.
For starters, there's Rajon Rondo. A flashy young point guard, much flashier than Chris Paul, actually. A team whose main focus is on defense. A team who keeps defeating yours in the regular season AND the playoffs. Hey, if you can't beat them, join them, right? Believe me, the first time you blocked a shot into the second row, as you tend to do too often, a teammate will be in your face about it. And you won't do it again. You will be blocking shots and keeping them in bounds. You will become the most destructive defensive force in the NBA since Bill Russell, who was just awarded the Medal of Freedom by President Obama, and who won 11 championships in his 13 NBA years.
Not a bad set of footprints to follow in, if you ask me.
Of course, there is one possibility I haven't mentioned. Chris Paul might go to Los Angeles as well. If he does, it would make a frightening amount of sense for you to head West. And I'll be sitting here in my room, with my computer and my dog, doing my damndest to divorce this sport.
Maybe I should send a letter to Chris as well.
Yours sincerely,
Tom Westerholm
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Um...WHAT?!!
Little bit of history for you. I was doing some research on double doubles (Kevin Love's streak being alive and kicking and all) and I found out an interesting tidbit.
On February 18, 1985, Larry Bird had 30 points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists through 3 quarters of play versus the Utah Jazz. He also had 9 steals.
Let me point this out: there are 4 players in the history of the ENTIRE FREAKING NBA that have ever registered quadruple doubles. Bird, apparently, was unimpressed with history. He decided to sit out the rest of the game, since the Celtics were up by 30. "I already did enough damage," he would say afterward. "Why go for it if we're up by 30?"
Why go for it? WHY GO FOR IT?! Because you were the greatest all around player of all time, someone who cared about every game, someone who wanted to win, and could be counted on to pull his team, kicking and screaming, to the finish line. Because you were one of the most memorable players in history, and this would be yet another part of your wonderful legacy. Because, as Nate Thurmond pointed out after registering the first quadruple double in NBA history, "The reason why [quadruple-double] is such a hard thing to accomplish is because it requires a player to be completely dominant on both ends of the court without being too selfish—so he can get the assists—and without fouling out trying to block every shot or grab every rebound. A lot of guys can get the points, rebounds and assists, but it's the defensive stuff that messes everybody up. You have to love defense to get a quadruple-double. There's no way around it." Because, Larry, YOU WERE THAT PLAYER. Not just on one career night, but EVERY night. You cared more about teamwork than about scoring, but you scored because you had to. You cared about defense because it won games, and played it intelligently for this reason.
So Larry, when time travel is invented under the Obama administration, go back and get that last steal. Add that to your legacy. Because people forget as time goes on. The only thing that stays around is who won, and what numbers they posted. Give us, who still worship your style of play, something to show the stat heads to prove your greatness. You owe us this, just as we owe it to you.
For the love of everything, give us a quadruple double.
On February 18, 1985, Larry Bird had 30 points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists through 3 quarters of play versus the Utah Jazz. He also had 9 steals.
Let me point this out: there are 4 players in the history of the ENTIRE FREAKING NBA that have ever registered quadruple doubles. Bird, apparently, was unimpressed with history. He decided to sit out the rest of the game, since the Celtics were up by 30. "I already did enough damage," he would say afterward. "Why go for it if we're up by 30?"
Why go for it? WHY GO FOR IT?! Because you were the greatest all around player of all time, someone who cared about every game, someone who wanted to win, and could be counted on to pull his team, kicking and screaming, to the finish line. Because you were one of the most memorable players in history, and this would be yet another part of your wonderful legacy. Because, as Nate Thurmond pointed out after registering the first quadruple double in NBA history, "The reason why [quadruple-double] is such a hard thing to accomplish is because it requires a player to be completely dominant on both ends of the court without being too selfish—so he can get the assists—and without fouling out trying to block every shot or grab every rebound. A lot of guys can get the points, rebounds and assists, but it's the defensive stuff that messes everybody up. You have to love defense to get a quadruple-double. There's no way around it." Because, Larry, YOU WERE THAT PLAYER. Not just on one career night, but EVERY night. You cared more about teamwork than about scoring, but you scored because you had to. You cared about defense because it won games, and played it intelligently for this reason.
So Larry, when time travel is invented under the Obama administration, go back and get that last steal. Add that to your legacy. Because people forget as time goes on. The only thing that stays around is who won, and what numbers they posted. Give us, who still worship your style of play, something to show the stat heads to prove your greatness. You owe us this, just as we owe it to you.
For the love of everything, give us a quadruple double.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Most Valuable Villain
In Bill Simmon's Book of Basketball, the uber popular national bestseller that is curing people of basketball idiocy nation-wide as we speak, Simmons discussed 4 criteria for the MVP award of the NBA, possibly the most vague award in the history of Everything.
Simmon's criteria were:
1. When remembering this season 10 years from now...whose name pops into your head?
2. In a proverbial pickup basketball game with every NBA player, who gets picked first?
3. If you replaced the candidate with a decent player at the same position, how would it affect the team's record?
4. Would fans who disagree with your choice at least respect it?
I would like to bring my own hypothesis to the table. I think the entire MVP dilemma could be boiled down to one question, which is this..."Which player single-handedly brings you the closest to winning the title?"
I'll admit...I'm a little proud of this. This question emphasize the importance of winning, as well as incorporating all of Simmon's criteria into one concise question. But the most important thing it does is eliminating the ridiculous argument that certain players can't win because their team is too good. If this were the case, the obvious choice for the MVP is Chris Paul. This in itself isn't ridiculous, by any means, nobody has done more with less talent to work with than CP3. But Chris Paul is pretty clearly neither the best, nor the most dominant player in the NBA. Doesn't it feel like the MVP should also be the best player around? I believe so.
Which makes this year's MVP choice fairly easy...LeBron James.
A couple of months ago, when the Heat were 9-8 and struggling out of the gate, some idiot writer wrote this..."This brings us to Lebron, and my idea: Why not trade Lebron?" That definitely was not me. I certainly never said that. Hahaha. What a moron.
What? I did? That was ME? The shame. Oh, the shame. I bow my head.
In fact, let's all bow our heads, in reverence to the King James. The tyrant has put aside his facade of kind benevolence, and struck us down with an angry vengeance, born from a multitude of bloggers and jilted Clevelanders calling him a quitter and a traitor, the culmination of which was directly before the Cavaliers game earlier this year in which James was booed so hard several tonsils flew onto center court at the Quicken Loans Arena. After the game, the writers of Webster's English Dictionary scrambled to re-write the definition of the word "backfire", as James emerged with 38 points and a resounding, destructive win. From that moment, his game, his numbers, and his team have all jumpstarted, and Miami has taken flight.
Since then, he hasn't looked back. Now that LeBron has an arsenal of teammates that he truly can trust not to screw up the game for him, he has settled into the role that he needs to play. He masterfully allows his teammates to get involved, giving the Heat lots of options in crunch time before he performs his Freight Train of Death routine, usually just in time to put the game out of reach. If Miami's offense stalls, they need do nothing more than kick it to LeBron and let him create, because hey, Cleveland did it for seven years and made it to the Finals once, why not keep tradition alive? And when their offense IS clicking, he always seems to know where he should be, whether it's slashing and creating easy baskets, shooting over smaller defenders (they basically all are), or even giving Dwyane Wade enough room to create for himself.
Looking back at Simmon's criteria, LeBron fits every question. He is clearly the name that you will remember, even if the Decision hadn't happened. The only player getting more publicity is Blake Griffin. And let's be honest...there isn't a snowball's chance in Hell of a Clipper winning the MVP award. In a proverbial all star game, only the truly deluded would pass on James with the first pick. You mean you don't want a player who not only can score at will, but also understands the importance of including his teammates. Ha. You homer. Go burn his jersey again. Removing LeBron from the Heat wouldn't stop them from being a playoff team, but it would end their title contention. As a matter of fact, they wouldn't be that close. Dwight Howard and the Magic would eat them alive. Chicago's defense would be able to limit them enough to beat them. Boston might sweep them. LeBron turns an early playoff exit into a very plausible title run. Works for me. The final question is slightly unfair, in this case. None of the cities James spurned in free agency would vote for him, if only out of spite. LeBron's new villain status is enough to draw angry outcry from fans in other cities.
For MY criteria, it's no secret that Cleveland wasn't much of a team without LeBron, but this year has just been confirmation of the most depressing kind. Last season the Cavaliers, with no REAL threats beyond James, were a favorite to go to the Finals. This year, the Heat are the same way, after his addition. It's really fairly simple.
Look, I get it. Really, I do. A vote for Howard means you value defense. A vote for Rose means you love the aesthetics of basketball. A vote for Rondo is some love for the flashy little guy. CP3 is all about teamwork. Stoudemire has rejuvenated the NBA's largest city. Nowitzki is the heart and soul of Dallas. Any of these players are more fun to vote for than LeBron. And honestly? It's entirely likely that the writers will end up feeling the same way, and vote for the wrong man. I'll be cheering for them to do so, and unless you are from southern Florida, you probably will be too.
Just be aware that they are making the wrong choice.
All hail the King.
Simmon's criteria were:
1. When remembering this season 10 years from now...whose name pops into your head?
2. In a proverbial pickup basketball game with every NBA player, who gets picked first?
3. If you replaced the candidate with a decent player at the same position, how would it affect the team's record?
4. Would fans who disagree with your choice at least respect it?
I would like to bring my own hypothesis to the table. I think the entire MVP dilemma could be boiled down to one question, which is this..."Which player single-handedly brings you the closest to winning the title?"
I'll admit...I'm a little proud of this. This question emphasize the importance of winning, as well as incorporating all of Simmon's criteria into one concise question. But the most important thing it does is eliminating the ridiculous argument that certain players can't win because their team is too good. If this were the case, the obvious choice for the MVP is Chris Paul. This in itself isn't ridiculous, by any means, nobody has done more with less talent to work with than CP3. But Chris Paul is pretty clearly neither the best, nor the most dominant player in the NBA. Doesn't it feel like the MVP should also be the best player around? I believe so.
Which makes this year's MVP choice fairly easy...LeBron James.
A couple of months ago, when the Heat were 9-8 and struggling out of the gate, some idiot writer wrote this..."This brings us to Lebron, and my idea: Why not trade Lebron?" That definitely was not me. I certainly never said that. Hahaha. What a moron.
What? I did? That was ME? The shame. Oh, the shame. I bow my head.
In fact, let's all bow our heads, in reverence to the King James. The tyrant has put aside his facade of kind benevolence, and struck us down with an angry vengeance, born from a multitude of bloggers and jilted Clevelanders calling him a quitter and a traitor, the culmination of which was directly before the Cavaliers game earlier this year in which James was booed so hard several tonsils flew onto center court at the Quicken Loans Arena. After the game, the writers of Webster's English Dictionary scrambled to re-write the definition of the word "backfire", as James emerged with 38 points and a resounding, destructive win. From that moment, his game, his numbers, and his team have all jumpstarted, and Miami has taken flight.
Since then, he hasn't looked back. Now that LeBron has an arsenal of teammates that he truly can trust not to screw up the game for him, he has settled into the role that he needs to play. He masterfully allows his teammates to get involved, giving the Heat lots of options in crunch time before he performs his Freight Train of Death routine, usually just in time to put the game out of reach. If Miami's offense stalls, they need do nothing more than kick it to LeBron and let him create, because hey, Cleveland did it for seven years and made it to the Finals once, why not keep tradition alive? And when their offense IS clicking, he always seems to know where he should be, whether it's slashing and creating easy baskets, shooting over smaller defenders (they basically all are), or even giving Dwyane Wade enough room to create for himself.
Looking back at Simmon's criteria, LeBron fits every question. He is clearly the name that you will remember, even if the Decision hadn't happened. The only player getting more publicity is Blake Griffin. And let's be honest...there isn't a snowball's chance in Hell of a Clipper winning the MVP award. In a proverbial all star game, only the truly deluded would pass on James with the first pick. You mean you don't want a player who not only can score at will, but also understands the importance of including his teammates. Ha. You homer. Go burn his jersey again. Removing LeBron from the Heat wouldn't stop them from being a playoff team, but it would end their title contention. As a matter of fact, they wouldn't be that close. Dwight Howard and the Magic would eat them alive. Chicago's defense would be able to limit them enough to beat them. Boston might sweep them. LeBron turns an early playoff exit into a very plausible title run. Works for me. The final question is slightly unfair, in this case. None of the cities James spurned in free agency would vote for him, if only out of spite. LeBron's new villain status is enough to draw angry outcry from fans in other cities.
For MY criteria, it's no secret that Cleveland wasn't much of a team without LeBron, but this year has just been confirmation of the most depressing kind. Last season the Cavaliers, with no REAL threats beyond James, were a favorite to go to the Finals. This year, the Heat are the same way, after his addition. It's really fairly simple.
Look, I get it. Really, I do. A vote for Howard means you value defense. A vote for Rose means you love the aesthetics of basketball. A vote for Rondo is some love for the flashy little guy. CP3 is all about teamwork. Stoudemire has rejuvenated the NBA's largest city. Nowitzki is the heart and soul of Dallas. Any of these players are more fun to vote for than LeBron. And honestly? It's entirely likely that the writers will end up feeling the same way, and vote for the wrong man. I'll be cheering for them to do so, and unless you are from southern Florida, you probably will be too.
Just be aware that they are making the wrong choice.
All hail the King.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Some Bullet Musings...February 6, 2010
Apparently David Kahn is afraid that his reputation as a catastrophic moron is a little damaged after the whole "trading two second rounders for Michael Beasley" thing. He needed to bring in some extra stupid. He needed to get involved in the 'Melo talks. Chris Broussard reports that a three team trade might be in the works for Carmelo to go to New York, involving the Knicks, Nuggets and Timberwolves. The trade would send Carmelo to NY, Corey Brewer and a first round pick from Minnesota, and Wilson Chandler from New York to the Nuggets, and (get ready for this...) Anthony Randolph and Eddy Curry to the Timberwolves.
Let's consider this trade for a minute, from Minnesota's perspective. The trade works wonders for New York. They come up with Anthony, and only lose Wilson Chandler as a valuable asset. Anthony Randolph is currently averaging under 2 points and roughly 7.5 minutes per game. Eddy Curry remains a fat piece of crap, who will suck up 11 million of Minnesota's dollars to sit on their bench for the rest of the season. Sure, he's an expiring contract. But taking this deal is conceding even more losses this season. Haven't Minnesota fans suffered enough? Also, knowing Kahn, he's horribly likely to resign him for $20 mil over four years to back up Darko.
Also. That pick. Can we have some answers as to which pick that will be? Cause, um, I don't know if you've noticed, but Minnesota is 11-39! That's the second worst record in the LEAGUE, only currently ahead of Cleveland (we'll get to them later). Let's assume for my sanity's sake that it isn't their own first pick, which is likely to be one of the top 3 picks in the draft. Moving on...
The worst part of this deal...losing Corey Brewer. Brewer is one of the most underrated players in the league, although it's excusable to underrate him since most people don't see him very often, and when they do, the thing they notice is his ridiculously skinny body. But Brewer is a great one on one defender, someone who can bother good shooters with his long arms, and who can stay with quick players. He is not a shooter, by any means, but he is a very athletic player who should not be undervalued.
Minnesota is already a facilitator in that they pad everyone's win-loss column on a nightly basis. Do they really have to facilitate Carmelo Anthony's self-indulgent trade demands as well?
Let's consider this trade for a minute, from Minnesota's perspective. The trade works wonders for New York. They come up with Anthony, and only lose Wilson Chandler as a valuable asset. Anthony Randolph is currently averaging under 2 points and roughly 7.5 minutes per game. Eddy Curry remains a fat piece of crap, who will suck up 11 million of Minnesota's dollars to sit on their bench for the rest of the season. Sure, he's an expiring contract. But taking this deal is conceding even more losses this season. Haven't Minnesota fans suffered enough? Also, knowing Kahn, he's horribly likely to resign him for $20 mil over four years to back up Darko.
Also. That pick. Can we have some answers as to which pick that will be? Cause, um, I don't know if you've noticed, but Minnesota is 11-39! That's the second worst record in the LEAGUE, only currently ahead of Cleveland (we'll get to them later). Let's assume for my sanity's sake that it isn't their own first pick, which is likely to be one of the top 3 picks in the draft. Moving on...
The worst part of this deal...losing Corey Brewer. Brewer is one of the most underrated players in the league, although it's excusable to underrate him since most people don't see him very often, and when they do, the thing they notice is his ridiculously skinny body. But Brewer is a great one on one defender, someone who can bother good shooters with his long arms, and who can stay with quick players. He is not a shooter, by any means, but he is a very athletic player who should not be undervalued.
Minnesota is already a facilitator in that they pad everyone's win-loss column on a nightly basis. Do they really have to facilitate Carmelo Anthony's self-indulgent trade demands as well?
-Utah made it's first 14 shots against OKC last night before allowing the Thunder to get back in the game, then run away with it in the second half, despite the fact that Gordon Hayward played pretty decent defense on Kevin Durant. This was made stranger by the fact that Gordon Hayward looks like a Jonas Brother. Except the Jonas Brothers are starting to look older than Hayward does. Crazy.
-How important is defense to the Chicago Bulls? By my count, they are 2-10 this season when their opponent scores over 100 points. Which of course, makes them 31-6 when the opponent doesn't. In a related note, Golden State just beat Chicago 101-90.
-Tonight's big win over New Orleans is the reason why I think the Lakers are still the huge favorites to represent the West in the NBA Finals this year. Pau Gasol getting 34 points and 10 rebounds, and Kobe Bryant going for 32 including 4 of 5 three point shooting are two stats that should make Laker fans calm down a bit from their panic. I'm not saying this is some kind of regular season turning point, I think LA is going to go completely on cruise control from now till the playoffs. But expect to see LA turn the EXACT same switch that Boston turned on last year, the one where they shake off their regular season boredom and start winning games again.
-For good measure...DON'T DO IT KAHN. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. DON'T DO IT.
- Um. Yes. This happened. Only you didn't hear about it, because it wasn't Blake Griffin, it was the Warriors and the Bucks.
-Let's pick on the Bucks some more. The second dunk in this sequence might be my personal favorite dunk of the year, if only because it looks like DeAndre Jordan slugs the guy afterward for grabbing onto his jersey. (He didn't. But I can pretend.)
-Ok, twist my arm, let's pick on Milwaukee one more time. Here's Blake in that same game. I don't know about you, but I could feel my entire body tense up, like my muscles were going "ohhhhhhhh here we gooooooo......."
-Someone needs to save Cleveland, so badly. 24 straight losses has set a new NBA record. The only game on the schedule that's looking remotely winnable? When Washington (0-25 on the road this season) visits the Quicken Loans Arena in Ohio. For the love of everything holy...destroy the tapes of that game as soon as it is completed. Save the NBA the embarrassment.
-Just for good measure...Kahn. I'm seriously begging you. Page through the list of free agents who will be available after the season, when you no longer owe Curry 11 mil. It's not worth it. I solemnly swear, it is NOT FREAKING WORTH IT.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Power Rankings (February 1, 2011)
Here's a top 10 for you, after a very eventful couple of weeks. Enjoy!
10. Atlanta Hawks (30-18)- Atlanta's defense is 12th in the league, at 102.9. 12th...isn't bad. It's not elite either. As a matter of fact, I'm not entirely sure how the Hawks are so close to the upper echelon of the League, except that Joe Johnson has been rolling of late. Earn that 100 mil, Joe!
9. New Orleans Hornets (31-18)- New Orleans would have been top 5 earlier this week, before losing to the suddenly hot Kings (huh?!!) and the suddenly hot Suns (slightly less but still huh?!!). Can we safely assume this is the streakiest team ever? Zach Lowe wrote a great piece about the Hornets faulty offense Monday that should help explain some things.
8. Oklahoma City Thunder (30-17)- Oklahoma City can hardly be penalized for their tough game against Miami. What they CAN be penalized for is barely beating Minnesota and Washington right before. On the plus side, Durant is coming on strong, especially against Minnesota, dropping 47 and grabbing 18 rebounds. Also, I was at this game. Just felt like sharing.
7. Dallas Mavericks (32-15)- The Maverick's recent 5 game winning streak has seen the return of their defensive prowess of earlier this season. Great news for Dallas fans, who now are hoping to see the Mavs grab the second seed from the floundering Lakers. The Dirk Nowitzkis are only 1.5 games out of second.
6. Los Angeles Lakers (33-15)- Los Angeles stayed with Boston until late in the 4th quarter of Sunday's showdown. Unfortunately for LA, Boston played like they figured out the Lakers in that quarter. It'll make the upcoming rematch all the more interesting. More LA misfortune...the game before the Boston loss was a bad loss to the Sacramento Kings.
5. Orlando Magic (31-17)- Though they probably shouldn't be penalized for losing to the Grizzlies, who have beaten the Heat and the Lakers so far this season, the way the Magic lost is a problem that needs to be addressed. Looking disinterested and bored, especially on defense, the Magic still had a chance to tie before Dwight Howard couldn't keep his mouth shut, and picked up a technical with 5 seconds left, giving the Grizz a chance to ice it.
4. Miami Heat (33-14)- Miami's big win over the Thunder continues to beat home my point about the Big Three. If Miami has all three stars come play off time, it'll either be them or the Celtics in the Finals from the East. Not much doubt about that. The question is...will they be healthy? We have seen nothing so far to indicate that will be the case.
3. Chicago Bulls (33-14)- I keep saying it, and I'll continue till I'm proven wrong. I think that a fully healthy Chicago team can beat any team in the East in a 7 game series. And I won't be proven wrong till everybody on that injury depleted roster recovers and poor Luol Deng gets some rest.
2. Boston Celtics (36-11)- The good news for Boston in the Power Rankings: the Sunday domination of the Lakers (duh). The bad news: Friday's utter domination at the hands of the Suns. Boston can lay claim to the top spot in the next 10 days, as they face a Murderer's Row of tough opponents in Orlando, Miami, Dallas, and (again) the Lakers.
1. San Antonio Spurs (40-7)- San Antonio is an incredibly entertaining team to watch. They win pretty, playing great offense. As long as they keep winning (and they do) and as long as they are still on pace to win 70 FREAKING GAME THIS SEASON (which they are), they will stay top of this list.
10. Atlanta Hawks (30-18)- Atlanta's defense is 12th in the league, at 102.9. 12th...isn't bad. It's not elite either. As a matter of fact, I'm not entirely sure how the Hawks are so close to the upper echelon of the League, except that Joe Johnson has been rolling of late. Earn that 100 mil, Joe!
9. New Orleans Hornets (31-18)- New Orleans would have been top 5 earlier this week, before losing to the suddenly hot Kings (huh?!!) and the suddenly hot Suns (slightly less but still huh?!!). Can we safely assume this is the streakiest team ever? Zach Lowe wrote a great piece about the Hornets faulty offense Monday that should help explain some things.
8. Oklahoma City Thunder (30-17)- Oklahoma City can hardly be penalized for their tough game against Miami. What they CAN be penalized for is barely beating Minnesota and Washington right before. On the plus side, Durant is coming on strong, especially against Minnesota, dropping 47 and grabbing 18 rebounds. Also, I was at this game. Just felt like sharing.
7. Dallas Mavericks (32-15)- The Maverick's recent 5 game winning streak has seen the return of their defensive prowess of earlier this season. Great news for Dallas fans, who now are hoping to see the Mavs grab the second seed from the floundering Lakers. The Dirk Nowitzkis are only 1.5 games out of second.
6. Los Angeles Lakers (33-15)- Los Angeles stayed with Boston until late in the 4th quarter of Sunday's showdown. Unfortunately for LA, Boston played like they figured out the Lakers in that quarter. It'll make the upcoming rematch all the more interesting. More LA misfortune...the game before the Boston loss was a bad loss to the Sacramento Kings.
5. Orlando Magic (31-17)- Though they probably shouldn't be penalized for losing to the Grizzlies, who have beaten the Heat and the Lakers so far this season, the way the Magic lost is a problem that needs to be addressed. Looking disinterested and bored, especially on defense, the Magic still had a chance to tie before Dwight Howard couldn't keep his mouth shut, and picked up a technical with 5 seconds left, giving the Grizz a chance to ice it.
4. Miami Heat (33-14)- Miami's big win over the Thunder continues to beat home my point about the Big Three. If Miami has all three stars come play off time, it'll either be them or the Celtics in the Finals from the East. Not much doubt about that. The question is...will they be healthy? We have seen nothing so far to indicate that will be the case.
3. Chicago Bulls (33-14)- I keep saying it, and I'll continue till I'm proven wrong. I think that a fully healthy Chicago team can beat any team in the East in a 7 game series. And I won't be proven wrong till everybody on that injury depleted roster recovers and poor Luol Deng gets some rest.
2. Boston Celtics (36-11)- The good news for Boston in the Power Rankings: the Sunday domination of the Lakers (duh). The bad news: Friday's utter domination at the hands of the Suns. Boston can lay claim to the top spot in the next 10 days, as they face a Murderer's Row of tough opponents in Orlando, Miami, Dallas, and (again) the Lakers.
1. San Antonio Spurs (40-7)- San Antonio is an incredibly entertaining team to watch. They win pretty, playing great offense. As long as they keep winning (and they do) and as long as they are still on pace to win 70 FREAKING GAME THIS SEASON (which they are), they will stay top of this list.
Running Diary...First Half Boston Vs Los Angeles
So I was going to do a running diary of the Lakers Celtics for the whole game. I only made it through half. The second half was mainly me and my dad yelling at the TV, and in the process chasing my mom out of the house and driving my dog nuts. But I figured I'd share what I had anyway. By the way, the Celtics won 109-96, easily outclassing the Lakers in the 4th quarter. Fun game to watch.
PRE GAME
It's currently 2:00, watching ABC's NBA showcase, Thunder vs Heat. Very evenly matched opponents. Unfortunately, I don't care. Like, at all, mainly thanks to this preview here of the Celtics/Lakers game later today. Even Celtics fans don't like the chances of todays game. Oh boy.
Also, the montage count of the Lakers/Celtics Game 7 last year is out of control. I don't know what I expected. But this is very unpleasant. I literally can't watch. See my last post for the gory details.
FIRST QUARTER
12:00- Thanks ABC, I was really hoping to miss the first part of the game thanks to the Miami/OKC game. SCREW ONE POINT FINISHES TO INSTANT CLASSICS. I need someone to blame here.
9:49- Well, here we are. 6-4 Celtics lead early on.
6:15- Another montage of Game 7 in a successful attempt to get every Celtics fan to kill themselves. Then Mark Jackson rubbing it in. "The Celtics blew the game after a 13 point lead." Thanks Mark. Pass the draino.
6:05- Pierce is feeling it early, a couple of nice jumpers.
4:50- It looks like LA forgot that Garnett is better this year, as he goes in for an easy swooping layup without anyone standing in his way.
4:30- Artest running the offense for LA is such a beautiful sound for me. Brick. Brick. Airball. Thanks Ron. You are quickly becoming my favorite Laker.
2:48- Kendrick Perkins with a nice reverse layup. Great to see him back.
1:41- I love when I'm smarter than the announcers, who just said Rondo had taken two jumpers. It was actually three. See? You knew you'd be glad to read this later.
0:00- The Lakers end the quarter on an 11-4 run. Not what I like to see from Boston's bench.
0:00- Thanks, Just Go With It, I was really hoping for more Game 7 highlights. Fuck you.
0:00- Seriously, are we that desperate for tearjerkers that we need a show like "Secret Millionaires"?
0:00- The real reason I like quarter breaks in the NBA...it gives me time to cool down and feel a tiny bit less hatred for the other team. When that quarter ended I wanted to kill every single person in Los Angeles.
SECOND QUARTER
11:43- Why couldn't Garnett have hit Odom in the balls? That would have been nice.
11:30- Nate Robinson WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T TAKE THAT THREE...never mind. Nice shot Nate...
10:25- Nate Robinson WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T TAKE THAT JUMPER...never mind. Nice shot, Nate...
9:26- Shameless plug for Mark Jackson's son "playing at Louisville, taking the same kind of shot as Ray Allen". PLEASE, SOMEONE IN THE NBA, DRAFT MY SON!
8:42- Baby Davis with the second, third and fourth efforts, before getting a great layup. No matter how ugly he looks making plays, he still makes the plays. Impressive. Celtics back up by 9, 36-27.
8:42- My claustrophobic dad is currently squirming at the idea of watching the movie Sanctum, a movie about cave divers getting stuck in a flooding cave. Now just imagine it in 3-D.
6:47- Ray Allen's release on a three was .73 seconds. Apparently that is fast. Allen's release seems faster than that.
6:28- Garnett bleeding all over his face doesn't constitute a foul, apparently, despite Gasol's obvious elbow. DON'T TELL ME IT WAS INADVERTENT, I EXPECT TO SEE BLOOD FOR BLOOD! Eh? A little pun there for ya? K. Never mind. Back to the game.
6:28- Screw you Zach Efron, and screw you George Lopez. Leave the celebrity Laker fandom to Jack Nicholson. At least he gives a damn about basketball. Matt Damon needs to beat him down. Wouldn't you pay to see that fight?
6:00- According to Chris Forsberg, Celtics blogger attending the game, Garnett is likely to need stitches for the gash that Gasol opened on his head. Glad to see Joey Crawford doin' work as a blind referee. Thanks Joey.
6:00- Jimmy Kimmel can't be a Laker fan...Bill Simmons wrote for him. Come on Jimmy.
5:35- Kobe continues to shoot contested J's. I don't mind him taking those. He's the best in the NBA at 18 foot, contested jumpshots...but it's still a bad shot.
5:00- Nice bandaid, KG. It looks like an out of control birthmark. You are cancerous to your league and to your team! Well, not actually, at all. But I couldn't resist.
4:26- You anger Garnet...Garnett make you pay! Jumper to put the C's back up by 6, 42-36.
3:58- Rondo just allowed Derek Fisher to blow by him for an and 1 layup. Rondo, the man is like 57 years old. Come on.
3:23- I enjoyed Mark Jackson's description of Kobe's pushoff to get an open shot as "eliminating Rondo." Fair enough, Mark.
2:41- The Lakers are on a 13-4 run in the last little while, putting them up by 2, 44-42. Boston's big men aren't boxing out. And yet Boston is out rebounding LA 21-14? This makes no sense.
0:42- Boston is not going to win this game.
0.7- Lamar Odom repays the horrible foul by Marquis Daniels by fouling Baby Davis on a halfcourt attempt.
Halftime- Hey, good thing Kobe's kids and wife were there to kiss him on his way to the locker room. They must have forgotten about his rape charges.
PRE GAME
It's currently 2:00, watching ABC's NBA showcase, Thunder vs Heat. Very evenly matched opponents. Unfortunately, I don't care. Like, at all, mainly thanks to this preview here of the Celtics/Lakers game later today. Even Celtics fans don't like the chances of todays game. Oh boy.
Also, the montage count of the Lakers/Celtics Game 7 last year is out of control. I don't know what I expected. But this is very unpleasant. I literally can't watch. See my last post for the gory details.
FIRST QUARTER
12:00- Thanks ABC, I was really hoping to miss the first part of the game thanks to the Miami/OKC game. SCREW ONE POINT FINISHES TO INSTANT CLASSICS. I need someone to blame here.
9:49- Well, here we are. 6-4 Celtics lead early on.
6:15- Another montage of Game 7 in a successful attempt to get every Celtics fan to kill themselves. Then Mark Jackson rubbing it in. "The Celtics blew the game after a 13 point lead." Thanks Mark. Pass the draino.
6:05- Pierce is feeling it early, a couple of nice jumpers.
4:50- It looks like LA forgot that Garnett is better this year, as he goes in for an easy swooping layup without anyone standing in his way.
4:30- Artest running the offense for LA is such a beautiful sound for me. Brick. Brick. Airball. Thanks Ron. You are quickly becoming my favorite Laker.
2:48- Kendrick Perkins with a nice reverse layup. Great to see him back.
1:41- I love when I'm smarter than the announcers, who just said Rondo had taken two jumpers. It was actually three. See? You knew you'd be glad to read this later.
0:00- The Lakers end the quarter on an 11-4 run. Not what I like to see from Boston's bench.
0:00- Thanks, Just Go With It, I was really hoping for more Game 7 highlights. Fuck you.
0:00- Seriously, are we that desperate for tearjerkers that we need a show like "Secret Millionaires"?
0:00- The real reason I like quarter breaks in the NBA...it gives me time to cool down and feel a tiny bit less hatred for the other team. When that quarter ended I wanted to kill every single person in Los Angeles.
SECOND QUARTER
11:43- Why couldn't Garnett have hit Odom in the balls? That would have been nice.
11:30- Nate Robinson WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T TAKE THAT THREE...never mind. Nice shot Nate...
10:25- Nate Robinson WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T TAKE THAT JUMPER...never mind. Nice shot, Nate...
9:26- Shameless plug for Mark Jackson's son "playing at Louisville, taking the same kind of shot as Ray Allen". PLEASE, SOMEONE IN THE NBA, DRAFT MY SON!
8:42- Baby Davis with the second, third and fourth efforts, before getting a great layup. No matter how ugly he looks making plays, he still makes the plays. Impressive. Celtics back up by 9, 36-27.
8:42- My claustrophobic dad is currently squirming at the idea of watching the movie Sanctum, a movie about cave divers getting stuck in a flooding cave. Now just imagine it in 3-D.
6:47- Ray Allen's release on a three was .73 seconds. Apparently that is fast. Allen's release seems faster than that.
6:28- Garnett bleeding all over his face doesn't constitute a foul, apparently, despite Gasol's obvious elbow. DON'T TELL ME IT WAS INADVERTENT, I EXPECT TO SEE BLOOD FOR BLOOD! Eh? A little pun there for ya? K. Never mind. Back to the game.
6:28- Screw you Zach Efron, and screw you George Lopez. Leave the celebrity Laker fandom to Jack Nicholson. At least he gives a damn about basketball. Matt Damon needs to beat him down. Wouldn't you pay to see that fight?
6:00- According to Chris Forsberg, Celtics blogger attending the game, Garnett is likely to need stitches for the gash that Gasol opened on his head. Glad to see Joey Crawford doin' work as a blind referee. Thanks Joey.
6:00- Jimmy Kimmel can't be a Laker fan...Bill Simmons wrote for him. Come on Jimmy.
5:35- Kobe continues to shoot contested J's. I don't mind him taking those. He's the best in the NBA at 18 foot, contested jumpshots...but it's still a bad shot.
5:00- Nice bandaid, KG. It looks like an out of control birthmark. You are cancerous to your league and to your team! Well, not actually, at all. But I couldn't resist.
4:26- You anger Garnet...Garnett make you pay! Jumper to put the C's back up by 6, 42-36.
3:58- Rondo just allowed Derek Fisher to blow by him for an and 1 layup. Rondo, the man is like 57 years old. Come on.
3:23- I enjoyed Mark Jackson's description of Kobe's pushoff to get an open shot as "eliminating Rondo." Fair enough, Mark.
2:41- The Lakers are on a 13-4 run in the last little while, putting them up by 2, 44-42. Boston's big men aren't boxing out. And yet Boston is out rebounding LA 21-14? This makes no sense.
0:42- Boston is not going to win this game.
0.7- Lamar Odom repays the horrible foul by Marquis Daniels by fouling Baby Davis on a halfcourt attempt.
Halftime- Hey, good thing Kobe's kids and wife were there to kiss him on his way to the locker room. They must have forgotten about his rape charges.
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